


Baked as a Cake and High as a Kite

by Fr3nch_Potatoes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blaise thinks it's funny as fuck, Harry likes dragon shaped noodles, Hermione is just kinda done with this shit, M/M, at least in this fic, don't know you guys yet because I'm new but I love you!, don't play around with that shit, gillyweed is a serious drug ladies and gentlemen, i'm not going to judge your life, jk, mac and cheese bitche$$$$$, responsible Draco, stoned Harry, what the fuck is wrong with me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:53:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9305654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fr3nch_Potatoes/pseuds/Fr3nch_Potatoes
Summary: Auror Harry Potter is having some trouble relaxing after coming home from work so Blaise, being the remarkable friend he is, helps him out.  Let's just say Harry's boyfriend isn't too happy with Blaise's method.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys this is my first fic on ao3 so I hope you like it!

Draco comes home to their house smelling...weird. Not necessarily bad, just weird. It’s a scent he recognized back in the late nights at Hogwarts and some pubs but he can't pinpoint what it is. That is until he sees his boyfriend looking completely relaxed sitting on the wooden floor and just staring at the far wall. Draco would have to check Harry’s eyes to be sure but Blaise wouldn't bring that stuff into their house, right? “Harry?” Draco asks, hanging up his healer robe on the gold coat rack by the door. Harry turns to him quickly. “You're home!” He replies enthusiastically and Draco can see from here that Harry’s pupils are dilated. He fucking would. “Damn it Zabini.” Draco mutters and stomps over to the fireplace and tossing a handful of floo powder into the flames, the fire growing so high that it nearly singes the ceiling. “66491 Opaleye Court.” Draco says, sticking his head into the flames. He taps his foot impatiently as he waits for the familiar spinning to end. He stops in a lavish living room and sees Blaise Zabini sitting on a white leather sofa, an old book in hand. “Oi! Asshole!” He yells, startling the other man causing him to drop the book with a muted thud on the black carpet. “You bought Gillyweed, ILLEGALLY, and smoked it, ILLEGALLY, in my house with my boyfriend! Did I mention that that's ILLEGAL!?” Blaise shrugs his shoulders. “He was having trouble relaxing after work so I figured Gillyweed would fix that.” He responds. “What the bloody hell is wrong with you!?” Draco yells. “Ohhhhh, you're not happy with me are you?” Blaise says, chuckling. “I thought I was doing him a favor.” Draco grits his teeth. All of a sudden, there’s a crash in the kitchen and Draco pinches the bridge of his nose. “Someone's got the munchies.” Blaise says in a sing songy tone. “Harry love, just go sit down. I'll get you something in a second.” Draco calls over his shoulder. “Mac and cheese?” Is asked along with something metal hitting the floor from the kitchen. “Yes, I'll make you mac and cheese.” Draco replies while Blaise laughs. “Can you make it with the dragon shaped noodles?” Now Blaise has just fucking lost it. “Sure Harry.” Draco says. Draco turns back to Blaise whose laughter has finally died down. “He’s an Auror! He can turn you in faster than you can say Salazar Slytherin!” Blaise snorts. “He doesn't know he smoked Gillyweed. I told him it was an over the counter apothecary relaxant.” Draco sighs. Harry can be so naïve sometimes. “Hey Dray?” Harry says, still in the kitchen. “Yeah Love?” “I think I broke something.” “What did you break?” Draco queries. “....Everything.” Blaise giggles and Draco **really** wishes he could get up and slap him but he doesn't want to leave Harry alone. “Just go sit down Harry.” He repeats. “Aye aye captain!” Is said back to him along with what sounds like glass shattering. Draco cringes at the noise. Now Blaise is cackling like a madman. “I will hit you so hard the next time I see you.” Draco tells him then ends the floo connection before Blaise can say anything back. He stands up from his crouch and turns around to go to the dining room where Harry should be. Thankfully, Harry's sitting down in one of the chairs staring at the ceiling this time. Draco takes Harry's face in his hands and checks his eyes. Red rimmed and pupils blown wide. He knows what someone who smoked Gillyweed looks like and acts like but he doesn't know what to do about it. Yes, he is a healer but this isn't his field. “Are you going to kiss me or not?” Harry asks, his voice impatient. “You're just staring. It's kind of weird.” Draco starts to lean down to Harry's lips when he sees the kitchen. Draco silently thanks whatever god there may be that he is a wizard because he is going to have to clean and repair a lot of shit. There's pots and pans and cutlery strewn across the counters and the floor and of course he had to break three of the crystal glasses. Draco doesn't even know why there's a sack of potatoes just sitting in the middle of it all. “...Are you mad at me?” Harry asks carefully. Draco doesn't respond. He isn't mad because Harry isn't in the right state of mind right now. “.....Are you too mad to make mac and cheese?” Draco sighs because he has a lot of stuff to do and cleaning up the kitchen is one of them. “I'm not angry Harry. Just stay put and let me take care of this.” Draco reaches for his wand out from his back pocket when, “DON'T PUT YOUR WAND THERE BOY! WHAT IF IT IGNITED? BETTER WIZARDS HAVE LOST BUTTOCKS, YOU KNOW!” Draco nearly jumps out of his skin. Moody is dead! How the flying fuck did Moody just talk to him!? Then, Draco feels like an idiot because Harry is laughing his ass off. “Y-you should have seen your face!” Harry says in between his fit of laughter. Draco doesn't know when Harry learned how to imitate Moody perfectly, but he does know he is going to him back for that when Harry is sober. Thankfully, it takes him less than thirty minutes to get the kitchen back in order. Now as he waits for the water to boil, he tries to accio books from his study that might have something about smoking Gillyweed. So far he's tried ‘Books having information on improper use of Gillyweed’, ‘Books having information on smoking Gillyweed’, ‘Books having information on the effects of Gillyweed’, and so many other combinations of Books, information, and Gillyweed. He can't take Harry to St. Mungo's because they'll get in trouble with magical law enforcement and Harry could lose his job and the papers would eat this up. The thing is, he doesn't know how the Gillyweed is affecting Harry's body. He may look good on the outside but on the inside something could be wrong. He has zero clue how to handle this. “Um Draco?” Draco turns his attention to Harry, fearing that Harry is starting to feel sick or is in pain. “The pot's overflowing.” Draco quickly turns off the stove, stopping the flow of hot water bubbling out of the green pot. “That use to happen a lot to Hermione when we first starting to hunt for horcruxes. She eventually got the hang of it though.” Well apparently, Hermione knows more than I do. Draco thinks to himself. Wait, Hermione. Hermione. **Hermione**! She might know something. She always seems to know the most random things. Useful, I'll give her that... She's in law enforcement, but it's Harry so we're safe. She's my best bet at the moment. Alright, I'll send a patronus. Draco closes his eyes and tries to focus on happy thoughts with Hermione. “Expecto Patronum!” A silvery doe emerges into existence from the tip of Draco’s wand. “Hermione, Harry-” Draco stops himself. She might not be alone. I'll just use the code then. This could potentially be an emergency… “Harry and I just want to thank you for the flowers you sent to our home. Hope to see you soon.” With a flick of his wand, he sends away the deer and hopes his voice didn't sound too desperate. “What's the emergency? Nothing is wrong here.” Harry asks, wand in hand just in case with a worried crease between his brows. “Harry love,” Draco slowly takes Harry's wand out of his hand. “You're kind of the e-” Draco's cut off by a worried Hermione apparating in the middle of the kitchen, wand at the ready. “Hi ‘Mione Draco's making mac and cheese but he sort of sucks at boiling water like you did at first but I think he has potential!” Harry say rushed and excited, worry forgotten. “What did you do to him Draco?” Hermione asks, anger tinting her voice. “Why do you always accuse me of doing something? I'm the more responsible out of the two of us but that doesn't matter right now because Harry smoked Gillyweed and I don't know if he's having a bad reaction to it internally.” “Wait I smoked what!?” Harry asks but the two ignore him. Hermione sighs. “Harry's fine.” She tells Draco. “I should be concerned about why and how he smoked Gillyweed.” Draco stares at her, incredulous. “You haven't even looked at him.” “I don't need to. Muggles have something nie identical to Gillyweed.” Hermione says. “What?” Draco questions. “Weed.” Hermione explains. Draco shakes his head in confusion. “Maryjane.” “Who?” Draco asks. “Marijuana.”. Draco just stares at her. “It's a plant.” she says exasperated. “Now you,” she says, whiping around to face Harry. “What were you thinking!?” “I didn't know! I just trusted Blaise when he told me he got it from an apothecary!” Harry tells her. “Uuggghhhh. He's my friend. I don't want to arrest him.” Hermione rubs her temples. “You know what? I'm just going to let it slide and chew him out next time I see him. But if I find out he's dealing, he's getting arrested friends be damned.” Hermione conjures a small piece of parchment and a quill, quickly jotting something down. “You can either let him ride this out or buy this potion which is also used for colds so it won't seem suspicious. By his pupil size, I'd say he only has an hour or two left so I wouldn't waste the money. “Thank you Hermione.” Draco says, gratitude emanating from his voice. “Of course.” She replys, squeezing his and Harry's shoulders. “Now, I have to get back. I told them I had to use the loo but I should have been back by now.” Hermione tells them. “Astoria can be a hard ass when it comes to breaks. Bathroom included.” She tucks her bushy brown hair behind her ears and grabs her wand from the brown speckled granite counter top. “I'll see you for dinner Friday.” “See you then.” Draco responds as Hermione apparates back to the Ministry. Draco looks back at Harry to find a thoughtful look on his face. “Do you….” Harry's expression turns puzzled. “Do I what?” Draco asks. “Do you think owls know there owls?” Draco sighs and reheats the water. "Do they even know they're birds in general!?" This is going to be a long couple of hours.

**Author's Note:**

> How was it? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Love ya!


End file.
